When Co-Parenting Goes…Right: “The Step-Parent’s Dilemma”

Re-posted with permission from our friends at CoParenting101.

So,  you’ve gotten divorced.  Between you and your ex, things were, understandably, rough at the onset of the separation, a bit heated during the legal proceedings, and then still  awkward and raw once the ink was dry on your divorce decree.

Some time passed, a few months, a year, and life settled down into a routine ruled in large part by your custody calendar–the kids’ days and nights with you and your co-parent, weekends, holidays, special events.  In time and in the midst of the day-to-day-ness of parenting, you and your former spouse/partner establish a solid “working” relationship on behalf of your kids.  You communicate regularly; you’re flexible and agreeable.  Maybe, eventually, the two of  you even become…friendly.  Soon, you settle into a peaceful co-parenting co-existence.  You get along so well, friends and colleagues marvel.  Most importantly, your kids are happy and stable.  Then…

…you meet someone new.  After a reasonably long courtship and after the kids have adjusted, you decide that your Someone New is The One.  You marry.  You’re happy.  Your former spouse is happy for you–truly.  The kids adjust some more, as their connection with your new spouse evolves into a step-parent-step-child relationship, and that seems to be going well too.

Everything is fine.

Well, almost everything…

Read on to learn more about “The Step-Parent’s Dilemma”

Deesha Philyaw is a Pittsburgh-based freelance writer whose publication credits include Essence, Bitch, and Wondertime magazines, and The Washington Post. In addition to freelancing and teaching, Deesha is the co-founder, along with her ex-husband, of CoParenting101.org, a resource for parents striving to raise their children together, cooperatively, after divorce or separation.

Read more articles by Deesha Philyaw