Comments on: SingleDad’s 3 Top Tips for Communicating with Your Ex http://www.weparent.com/2009/07/singledads-3-top-tips-for-communicating-with-your-ex/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=singledads-3-top-tips-for-communicating-with-your-ex Living apart. Parenting together. Wed, 11 May 2011 01:26:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: TaRita http://www.weparent.com/2009/07/singledads-3-top-tips-for-communicating-with-your-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-713 TaRita Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:10:43 +0000 http://www.weparent.com/?p=1314#comment-713 Perhaps it's me, but I'm really not sure why "Mary" has a dilemma at all. If she has been dating Mike for over 2yrs and he continues to go out of the room whispering for hours when the ex calls, that's definitely a RED flag that has been waving for a long time! Although it is important for them to communicate in regards to the children, if he's committed to Mary then there's definitely no need to calls that are filled w/ whispers and ones that need that much privacy--and definitely ones that last that long! I think that your suggestions on how to handle this are great for someone who has been in a relationship for a short time, but two years is a long time to be with someone and not feel comfortable just addressing the situation head on even after he has denied it?? I'm not sure why the conversation was even allowed to be "over" right after he denied doing anything, but he should have been told his consequences right then. I guess my question to Mary would be if Mike and Nancy still see each other--if they whisper on the phone, what happens when he goes to pick up the child. We should always remember that a man/woman can only do what we ALLOW them to do, and it seems like Mike is being allowed to have his cake and eat it to! Perhaps it’s me, but I’m really not sure why “Mary” has a dilemma at all. If she has been dating Mike for over 2yrs and he continues to go out of the room whispering for hours when the ex calls, that’s definitely a RED flag that has been waving for a long time! Although it is important for them to communicate in regards to the children, if he’s committed to Mary then there’s definitely no need to calls that are filled w/ whispers and ones that need that much privacy–and definitely ones that last that long! I think that your suggestions on how to handle this are great for someone who has been in a relationship for a short time, but two years is a long time to be with someone and not feel comfortable just addressing the situation head on even after he has denied it?? I’m not sure why the conversation was even allowed to be “over” right after he denied doing anything, but he should have been told his consequences right then. I guess my question to Mary would be if Mike and Nancy still see each other–if they whisper on the phone, what happens when he goes to pick up the child. We should always remember that a man/woman can only do what we ALLOW them to do, and it seems like Mike is being allowed to have his cake and eat it to!

]]> By: Becky http://www.weparent.com/2009/07/singledads-3-top-tips-for-communicating-with-your-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-691 Becky Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:15:52 +0000 http://www.weparent.com/?p=1314#comment-691 This is a hard one because on one hand you don't want ex's to hate each other- especially when children are involved. Yet a close relationship such as this one isn't good either. How do you get that happy medium? Coincidentally I am reading a book titled, <a href="http://www.nhlawyer.net/CM/Custom/Book.asp" rel="nofollow"> "Divorce Mediation: from the Inside Out" </a> by Ora Schwartzberg that discusses the topic of maintaining a healthy divorce... teaches couples how to have a healthy divorce through mediation and how to maintain a cordial relationship once the divorce is final. This is a hard one because on one hand you don’t want ex’s to hate each other- especially when children are involved. Yet a close relationship such as this one isn’t good either. How do you get that happy medium? Coincidentally I am reading a book titled, “Divorce Mediation: from the Inside Out” by Ora Schwartzberg that discusses the topic of maintaining a healthy divorce… teaches couples how to have a healthy divorce through mediation and how to maintain a cordial relationship once the divorce is final.

]]> By: Barry http://www.weparent.com/2009/07/singledads-3-top-tips-for-communicating-with-your-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-690 Barry Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:54:01 +0000 http://www.weparent.com/?p=1314#comment-690 RJ gives some great tips on how to handle this situation. These will be helpful when starting a discussion with anyone you might disagree with. My gut reaction here though is this guy is not over his ex. If he can walk out of a room for hours and leave her, should be a major red flag. A few times maybe. All the time, yikes! Good luck on this one. Patience will be very very much needed. Otherwise, pack your bags and find someone who will put you first! RJ gives some great tips on how to handle this situation. These will be helpful when starting a discussion with anyone you might disagree with.

My gut reaction here though is this guy is not over his ex. If he can walk out of a room for hours and leave her, should be a major red flag. A few times maybe. All the time, yikes!

Good luck on this one. Patience will be very very much needed. Otherwise, pack your bags and find someone who will put you first!

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