Book Review: How to Survive and Win as a Co-Parent

One of my favorite resources as a family practice attorney is How to Survive and Win as A Co-Parent, written by Arline S. Kerman. Though this book was copyrighted in 2006, the content is as relevant to any co-parenting challenge you are facing right now–today. It is a resource guide for all parents: single, married, separated or divorced.

The object of this book is to guide those parents who want specific steps to successfully co-parent. It contains real stories which illustrate how the lives of parents and their children can be destroyed when parents are: (1) not motivated to co-parent and (2) not trained to implement a co-parenting agreement. This guide is written from Arline Kerman’s qualified view as an attorney, Doctor of Psychology and mother. With these credentials, her resource exhibits a full understanding of family dynamics.

The opening chapter questions why co-parenting is such a problem for some parents. It exposes some possible reasons that may already be familiar to you. After reviewing this situation for over 30 years, the author determines that there is no single answer to the problems of co-parenting. So, the book begins the journey of sharing cooperative strategies and a co-parenting plan, both designed to promote cooperation between parents, as well as, address and resolve those child-related issues that usually cause problems. Her theme is “Stop the war! Fighting is NEVER an option!“

The most practical portion is contained in Chapter Two, which gives a list of 24 Cooperative Strategies for Parents. A few of these are: (1) consult and confer with the other parent in a positive and non-confrontational manner; (2) admit when you are wrong; (3) realize that flexibility means reasonableness and not weakness. The author actually walks you through implementing each of the 24 strategies and explains to you why they are important to the well being of your child.

Because I am a firm believer that no parent should point the finger without taking an introspective look at oneself, I am tickled that this guide calls for self-evaluation. I am sure you will have big fun answering the questions set forth like: “Why should you admit to your mistakes when it relates to the care of the child?” The 30 questions force you to judge and determine whether you are an antagonist or protagonist in the parenting battle. Seeing you is sometimes difficult, yet very essential to the process of peace.

If parents want to modify their attitudes about each other and their attitudes toward better co-parenting and communication, this book is an excellent resource. There is so much more useful information that I simply encourage you to seek and find in the 356 pages. I will tell you that the back cover of the book contains a CD with treasured information that you do not want to continue without.

This book is available on Amazon.com or for purchase directly from Dr. Kerman. Dr. Kerman is also a co-founder of the Institute for Co-Parenting Resolution and author of Should You Really Seek Custody of Your Child?, Do you Really Want to be a Stepparent? and Sally Rose-A Teenage Casualty of a Custody Battle.

Lisa Carter is a family law practice attorney in Georgia and has worked to help families resolve their problems in this area of law for more than 10 years. Lisa added directing and producing to her resume with her feature-length documentary, A Fatherless Child–A Diary of Absence. She is also the founder of Seed in the Earth, a non-profit with the mission of restoring the honor of fatherhood.

Read more articles by Lisa L. Carter