MamaSpeak: So What if I’m not a Celebrity Single Mom
July 14, 2010 by Alexandra Vanegas
I have to admit, I’m a bit obsessed with celebrity gossip. I browse through gossip magazines while I’m waiting in line at the grocery store, and I follow some gossip sites online. One of the things I’ve noticed is the trend of glamorizing celebrity single moms. I find this mind blowing, because regular single moms like myself don’t get the same treatment day to day.
From Sandra Bullock to Kate Gosselin to Halle Berry, there is tremendous support from society backing these celebrity single moms as they make their way through single mommyhood. They are splattered on the covers of InTouch and UsWeekly, sharing their heartaches, their struggles with trying to live a normal life. We see them on Oprah talking about their journey, and we get sucked in. We buy their magazines, we go see their movies, we subscribe into the glamorization. Why can’t this same support be had for non-celebrity single moms? Are we not good enough?
I’m a single mom, a younger-single-minority mom to be exact. Society sends the message that young-single-minority moms won’t be successful. They won’t attend college. They won’t secure a steady job. They won’t make enough money, so they will have to depend on the system. They are immature, irresponsible, and should have waited to have a child. These messages are constantly relayed through movies, magazines, books, and TV. You always hear about the plight of a single mom, the hardships she’s been through as she struggles to find stability. I’m not ignoring this fact, but where are the stories that speak of single moms graduating college or buying their first home? Where are the stories highlighting single moms starting their own businesses or volunteering within their communities? Does society not think that these stories will attract enough attention? Are these stories just not interesting enough?
I’m not ashamed that I’m a single mom, and don’t know why I get the sideways looks when I tell people I am. Maybe it’s because I don’t fit the mold of what a non-celebrity single mom looks like. I am enrolled in college, I have a car (old but running most of the time), I have a steady job, and my own apartment. I struggle with being a single mom, but I want no one’s pity or sympathy. I don’t need anyone in my ear telling me I’m doing a good job, but I would like to see my demographic positively acknowledged within society. The messages I come across don’t support me along my journey. In order to obtain resources I have to be a poor single mom. What’s up with that?
We support these celebrity single moms and tell them they can do it, no problem! Why is the message we send to non-celebrity moms so dissimilar? Why do we tell them they will fail? Why can’t the message be the same regardless of celebrity status?
All mothers-single, young, old, married, or widowed-should be respected and supported in our society. The amount of support we give Mothers should not be dependent on how much money they earn.
My life is by no means glamorous, nor does it need to be. What is most important is the love I have for my daughter. What I would appreciate is if society would respect and appreciate me as a Mother.





Lua on Thu, 15th Jul 2010 3:32 pm
It’s true that our society places so much importance on celebrities that we almost make them ‘experts’. I think about Bristol Palin and how she’s campaigning for young moms…her story and experience is nothing in comparison with a ‘normal’ teenager who gets pregnant. Thanks for another fabulous article!
Leida Speller on Thu, 15th Jul 2010 8:06 pm
Awesome post, Alexandra! Very interesting point. I remember being 24 with a 4-year-old and being somewhat taken aback by the subtle reactions I would get from some people when I disclosed that I was a single parent. Our situations may not be ideal (who doesn’t want 2 fully-devoted, full-time parents for their child?), however they still offer infinite possibility for success, despite the much lower tax bracket.
As far as I’m concerned, Hollywood is so far removed from the average single mother’s reality that it may as well be another planet. Keep up the great work and continue being a shining example for us “Earthlings” who can relate to and find inspiration in your sharing!
Lisa Maria Carroll on Tue, 3rd Aug 2010 10:06 am
Alexandra, welcome to the WeParent family. *YEA*
The points you bring up are the very reasons why I started blogging. I was tired of all single moms being thrown into one socioeconomic bucket. When I would ask people if they saw Kimora Lee Simmons, Princess Diana, or Katie Couric as single moms, I would get the same response, “Oh they’re not single moms, they’re royalty, or celebrities, or rich…”
Why is it that their financial or social status determine whether or not they are called a single mom or not? And when they claim such title, it’s glamorized, and not stigmatized, like the rest of us?
Miss Tee on Sat, 7th Aug 2010 5:49 pm
I love that I’m not alone!