The world our kids will inherit is far different from the one we were born into.

Back when I was born, most TVs were still in black and white. There was no cable tv, no fax machines, microwave ovens, or personal computers.  People held jobs for years, if not lifetimes. And they often retired with pensions…unless, like my grandmother, they were cheated out of them by being laid off just before they’d reached the 20- or 30-year mark. (But that’s a different story.)

Our kids are being born into a world of rapid change. Product choices, investment options, job descriptions, even “proven facts,” can become obsolete every 6 months.  To prosper in the 21^st century, our children need more than just computer skills. They need to be able to hold their own – emotionally, financially, and socially.  They need to be ready to ride the waves of change. They need an internal GPS and a lighthouse, so they don’t get lost in a storm. And they need an anchor to mark the place they call “home.”

Along with a solid education and good manners, here are a few other tools to properly equip today’s kids for tomorrow’s world:

Skills Every Child Needs to T.H.R.I.V.E. in the 21st Century

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX — Kids these days need to be able to do more than memorize facts.  Thinking critically and creatively will help them rise to every new challenge they’ll face.

Foster kids’ creativity with “What if…” questions – What would you do if you needed to open a can and couldn’t find a can opener? What might happen if you jump off the sofa with that coffee table sitting there?

Above all, don’t punish them when they DO think creatively…and end up doing something you don’t like. Like, let’s say, tie-dying the cat so it doesn’t camouflage with the living room carpet. Instead, recognize their creativity, but guide them toward a more useful application.

HEAL – The world can be a sick place – physically and emotionally. We can’t control the world, but we can control ourselves.

Teach kids how to keep themselves healthy and strong – in spite of what happens in the world around them – by building up their immune systems. (Again, physically, and emotionally.)

Physically: Who knows if there will be any affordable health care when our kids are grown? The best guarantee of good health is eating real food – especially fruits and veggies – cooked at home with real ingredients – not chemicals, colors, and preservatives. Healthy food creates a healthy immune system – helping your body heal and fight disease from the inside out.

Emotionally: Encourage kids to name their feelings. Ask them often, “How did you feel when that happened?” Their honest emotions can be an internal GPS, guiding them to stay away from danger, or to speak up when they don’t like something. Respect their right to have feelings different from yours. Don’t shut them down. The more kids know themselves, and the more they learn to express feelings their feelings verbally, the more self-disciplined they can be.

RESOLVE CONFLICTS – In friendships, at school, in job situations…knowing how to resolve conflicts productively is an invaluable social skill.

Teach kids to listen to another’s point of view as well as calmly express their own. Ask, “How could this be handled in a way that respects everybody?”

DON’T HIT. Hitting kids teaches them that physical violence is ok to use when you’re upset. It also fosters anger, resentment, and low self-esteem – none of which promotes healthy conflict management.

After a conflict, ask, “How’d you feel about the way things went? What might you do differently next time?”

INITIATE – The days of being an “employee” are over.

Even if you’re employed by someone, you’ve gotta think like an entrepreneur to make yourself indispensable. Rather than passively waiting for an employer to tell you what to do, you’ve got to have initiative – think independently, come up with new ideas.

Help kids build their “initiative muscles” by letting them make some decisions for the family: Put them in charge of Saturday night’s menu; let them come up with a way to fix the wobbly kitchen chair.

When they complain about something, ask them what they would do to make it better. Then let them implement their ideas.

VERIFY ALL CLAIMS – Don’t let kids fall into the trap of believing every so-called “authority.” They will be marketed to, relentlessly, by politicians and advertisers – many of whom will not share the whole truth.

Teach kids to use the internet and other resources to find facts and opinions that contradict what they hear. Encourage them to look within themselves and decide whom to believe.

EMPATHIZE WITH OTHERS – Not being able to accept another’s perspective is the primary cause of war – both globally and domestically.

Teach your kid to BE PEACE by learning to respect other people’s opinions, feelings, and desires.

Help them learn to hold two opposing perspectives – their own, and another person’s – and to treat others not as they would like to be treated, but as the other would like to be treated.

* * *

Kids who learn to Think, Heal, Resolve, Initiate, Verify, and Empathize, stay in-tuned with themselves and others.

They are anchored by close relationships over time, even as they re-invent themselves and relocate every few years.

They are guided by strong values that always lead them on the right course.

And they know how to change direction to navigate the winds of change.

Related posts:

1. The Golden Rule of Co-Parenting: Keep Kids Out of the Middle
2. Staying Close to Your Kids…from a Distance
3. Co-Parenting Conflict from the Mouth of Babes:
   Interview with Kara Bishop of Postcards from Splitsville