Father’s Day Book Giveaway

We’re so excited to be giving away two copies of David Manuel’s tribute to daddies called I Am a Father:  Celebrating African-American Fathers.  The book is a testimony to the positive impact Black fathers have on their children..told through the voices of those children, including those of Sidney Poitier, Morgan Freeman, Ossie Davis, Yung Joc and many others.  We’re sharing it with the daddies in our lives, and we want to give two members of our WeParent family the opportunity to do the same.  And, of course, you can always purchase the book here.

Winners will be announced on Co-Parenting Matters on Sunday, June 13, 2010.  And, we’ll be giving away a third copy of of the book on Twitter live during the show.  So, tune in to find out if you’re a winner!

Here’s how to enter your copy of I Am A Father:  Celebrating African-American Fathers:

Mandatory (You have to do this one to qualify for additional chances):

Drop us a comment below telling us about a father who has had a positive impact on your life.

And, here are a few ways to increase your chances. (Be sure to leave a separate comment for each of these here letting us know that you’ve done them.):

• Join our mailing list.
• Become a fan of WeParent on Facebook.
• Follow WeParent on Twitter.
• Become a member of our online community, WeParentConnect.

That’s five chances to win, so don’t miss out! Winners must have a U.S. address.  Entries must be received by 11:59 pm EST on Saturday, June 19, 2010, to be eligible.

Co-Parenting and Emergency Preparedness

As parents who are actively co-parenting or working to get there, we typically focus on managing the areas that will lead to a smooth day-to-day existence for our families. And, those of us who have solid parenting plans in place, may have even tackled the big issues. But, are you and your co-parent prepared for an emergency? As much as we hate to think about the possibility, our children are the ones who stand to benefit if both parents are prepared.

Here are some recommendations for information both parents should have with them or easily accessible at all times:

• A way to contact the other at all times. If one or both of you are selective about which calls you answer or text messages you read, agree upon a code that will indicate that the call or message is a child-related emergency.
• A copy of your child’s health insurance information. Be sure to carry it with you at all times
• A list of contact information for all doctors, dentists, therapists and any other health care providers and other emergency contacts (e.g., family members, etc.). You should also make sure other caretakers have this information.
• Names and dosages of all medications and details about serious allergies and/or physical, emotional or cognitive impairments and limitations. If necessary, also be sure both parents ensure that your child wears a medical alert bracelet or anklet with critical information.
• Pharmacy contact information. Consider printing this information along with the previous three items on a small card and carrying it with you in a wallet or purse.
• Up-to-date immunization records.
• Written permission for a non-guardian caregiver to make emergency medical decisions if appropriate. (e.g. stepparent, grandparent)
• Copies of birth certificates. This is particularly important when traveling.
• Copies of any relevant court order outlining custody and decision making authority.
• Current (annually) head and shoulders photograph.

Having this information accessible won’t prevent emergencies from occurring, but it will certainly help to expedite the process of treating your child. And, that could make all the difference.

Got it Covered? Insurance Tips for Busy Co-Parents

As co-parents we all want what is best for our children and we make decisions based on that everyday. Who is going to care for the children while we work, where should they go to school and who is going to have them on certain holidays. All of these are very important but what needs to be added to the list is when are we as parents going to sit down and discuss our insurance needs. Sitting down with an insurance professional is especially beneficial when you are co-parenting so that both parents know they are on the same page and what is covered. Having an insurance plan also can help make sure that all of the decisions that you all make are continued no matter what the circumstances.

A priority for your insurance needs is to make sure you have adequate Life and Disability insurance. Life insurance pays your beneficiaries in the event of an untimely death and Disability insurance pays you if you are unable to work due to an illness or accident. Don’t assume that the coverage you have at work is sufficient. Having a policy independent of work can assure coverage regardless if you leave that employer, are laid off, start your own business or stay home with the children as long as the premium is paid. Also the earlier you purchase your policy the better rate you are assured to pay. What can make insurance expensive is waiting.

What are the types of Life insurance policies to consider? Term or temporary insurance and permanent insurance. These can be used to address short and long term needs. Term insurance is great for short term needs. You can purchase term insurance for a certain number of years such as the amount of time your child will be a minor. Term insurance is generally less expensive and allows you to buy more coverage. After that policy period has finished, you no longer have life insurance coverage unless you convert it to a permanent policy or purchase more term insurance. Remember however you will be older if you have to purchase more and it will be more expensive than buying what’s needed in the beginning. Permanent life insurance includes whole, universal and variable life. This insurance is meant to last your entire life so you will always have an estate for your family. This type of policy also builds cash value and can give you the ability to borrow or make withdrawals. Permanent plans have the ability to combine life insurance, savings and investments. Remember the amount of time that this money will need to provide for. Given this, a good rule of thumb is to have 7-10 times your annual income of coverage.

Disability insurance is just as important as life insurance. If you don’t know how you would pay your rent, mortgage, bills and child support if you could not work because of an illness or injury then you need disability insurance. Don’t assume that you are covered by workers compensation because most disabilities occur outside of work. Also many are denied social security disability benefits so it can’t be counted on. Disability insurance can be very affordable for every budget. The key is to get coverage before there is an incident. To determine the amount you need, total your monthly expenses and number of months you could go with out a paycheck to determine your policy amount and waiting period.

As an excited expectant mom who will be co-parenting, I understand the importance and difficulty of having good communication to make sure our families are taken care of. As an insurance agent I see everyday, however, the benefits of making it happen.

Co-Parenting Requires A Plan

In addition to being a requirement for custody and child support orders in many states, a parenting agreement or plan can be an extremely helpful tool for managing a parenting partnership. Whether your state requires one or not, we recommend that parents lay a foundation for a solid co-parenting partnership that includes a parenting plan. In many ways, a parenting plan is to co-parents what a business plan is to a corporation, a living document that establishes guidelines, expectations for managing the business of raising healthy, happy children.

A good parenting plan is clear; anticipates the needs of your children, and you over the life cycle of your co-parenting relationship; sets a path for improved communication and partnering over time; and focuses on the win-win-win scenario. It is comprehensive, gently balancing specifics with enough flexibility to accommodate all of the shifts and changes that life and growth involve. Some of the areas that your plan should address include:

• Education
• Medical, dental and vision care
• Rules and discipline
• Decision-making processes and dispute resolution
• Religious training
• Child care
• Special occasions, school events and vacations
• Extracurricular activities
• Transportation and transitions between homes
• Communication between parents
• Communication between parents and children
• Rights of grandparents, extended family and close friends
• Role of parents’ new partners
• Counseling for children and parents
• Custody arrangements
• Process for modifying the plan
• Insurance
• Co-Parenting philosophy and commitment

Ideally, parents should develop the parenting plan themselves, using the help of professionals like mediators, divorce or co-parenting coaches, counselors or attorneys focused on supporting your co-parenting efforts. As parents, we know our children and our own circumstances better than a third party with no experience with your family. Of course, the process involves being able to separate your adult relationship from the best interests of your child. And, it may take time to get to that place; so many experts recommend starting with a temporary agreement for a few months rather than pressuring yourselves to arrive at a final plan while you are still in the most difficult period of emotional healing and transition.

There is an abundance of resources available to help you and your co-parent create a parenting plan that works for your family. Resources range from online or downloadable software, to downloadable templates and books. And, of course, you should use professionals like mediators, attorneys, counselors and financial planners to support your efforts.

Parents who successfully partner in developing a co-parenting plan often find that it limits both the financial and emotional costs of a court fight, for them and their children. Though getting there may be difficult, having a plan in place can reduce tension between you, because the rules of engagement are clear and agreed upon. Knowing that there is a plan to which you have both contributed helps to reduce some of the worry that may come when your children are away from you. It is a process, but in the end, a parent-negotiated, parent-endorsed parenting plan can be the foundation of an effective co-parenting relationship.

Do the Math, Shaq: Death threats and Kids = Co-Parenting No-no

Now, we aren’t ones to spread gossip, but we couldn’t resist sharing our CoParenting101.org friend, Deesha’s latest post on The Faster Times.  We don’t know if the rumors about Shaq sending death threats to his ex-wife’s new boo are true or not, but we *do* know that Deesha brought a whole lot of heat and wisdom in “An Open Memo to Shaq Re:  Using One’s 6-Year-Old Child to Deliver Death Threats.”  The bottom line:  It’s the kids who suffer most when we act a damn fool inappropriately in our co-parenting relationships.

Here are a couple snippets from her post:

This behavior is straight out of Adventures in How Not to Co-Parent, the book I write in my head everyday while I’m driving.  Just when I think I’ve finished the manuscript, a story like yours comes along…

Let’s say for argument’s sake that the allegations against you are true.  Exactly what response were you hoping for from Shaunie’s boyfriend upon hearing this threat?  Was he supposed to quake in fear?  Disappear from Shaunie’s life?  Step to you so you could kill him?  A more likely result than any of the above is that the threat served only to confuse or frighten your child.   After all, he may be spending considerable time around this man whom Mommy likes and Daddy wants to kill.   Guess who your words affect the most, Shaq.  Here’s a hint: It’s not the boyfriend.

And, then she breaks down “10 unsolicited pieces of advice to any co-parent who thinks it’s a good idea to use a child to relay messages (of the threatening or non-threatening variety), or to pump children for information. ”

Truth is, even if we think we are co-parenting saints, a refresher never hurts.  So, our unsolicited advice?  Read this!

And, if you aren’t following Deesha’s co-parenting edutainment regularly, you should be!

Lifelines for Co-Parenting: Be the Wise One in Your Next Argument

We really love Lifelines: The Book of Black Proverbs, a treasure of wisdom from African peoples across the globe.  The book offers short but potent advice, warnings, and witticisms that apply to every area of life…including co-parenting.  So, keep your eyes open for our new regular feature where we share a proverb and apply it to the art of co-parenting.  And, now for the debut of “Lifelines for Co-Parenting.”

When two quarrel, it is the first
to stop who is the wisest.

–South Africa

Conflict happens. That’s a given. Too, often that conflict shows up as incessant arguing between parents. Everybody’s in it to win it and only willing to stop if the other one does. We all know just how effective that strategy is.

Yes, it’s true, we can’t change the fact that conflict will rear it’s head.  What we can control, though, is how we respond to it. So, if the argue-them-into-submission strategy isn’t really working for you, here are a few others that might serve your co-parenting relationship better.

1. Figure out why you’re arguing…and then check yourself. Just stop! We argue for different reasons. Some people think arguing is healthy. They like to play devil’s advocate, even though the conversation is clearly going to hell. Sometimes, loud talking is just a reflection of our belief that we aren’t being heard. Of course, yelling at or over the other parent doesn’t get us the listening ear we think we’re missing. But, no one said any of this had to make sense. Then, there are those of us who use arguing as a way to stay connected by any means necessary. Knowing that we can get a rise out of the other parent gives us some sick sense of still mattering to him or her. And, then, there are the verbal batterers. They don’t hit, but they seek to execute a verbal beatdown that may be as damaging.  Figure out your angle, and then seek to make a shift by asking yourself what you really want from the other parent if things were ideal.  If your angle isn’t getting you that, then hush, breathe and take a time out.

2. Shift perspective by putting yourself in the other parent’s shoes. We all bring different values, judgments, motivations and objectives to this party. And guess what? The other parent is just as sure and certain and passionate about the “fact” that s/he is right, as you are. So, focusing your efforts on proving your right-ness is an uphill, if not losing, battle. Instead, role play a little. Look at the issue from the perspective of the other parent. Consider what she or he might be feeling. What does s/he care about? What objections might s/he have? What solutions or alternatives might be workable for him or her? Just like a room looks different if you’re in a headstand, turning your co-parenting conflict upside down may help you see something you couldn’t see when you were “right”-side up.

3. Establish rules of engagement. You already know that your time-for-battle muscles start to tingle when you feel a disagreement coming on. Try a preemptive strike by setting some ground rules up front. Try agreeing that neither parent will interrupt the other for a specified amount of time…and then use a kitchen timer to keep yourselves honest. Take notes if you just have to, but better yet…listen. You just might hear something that enlightens you. The worst case scenario is that you earn some good will by allowing the other parent to feel heard. Pinky swear that neither parent will call the other one names or make sweeping, generalized comments about the other. And, finally, promise to focus on the issues and the solutions and not who should take all the blame for initiative the problem. That is a waste of time and energy that just won’t move you forward. And, in the end, it does nothing for your children.

Like the proverb suggests, it takes two to quarrel; but only one to end it. Hopefully, these strategies will help you be the wiser of the two.

What tips can you share for managing disagreements with your co-parent?

Giveaway: Sade “Soldier of Love” CD–3 Winners

Love is in the air, and we are thrilled to be celebrating it by giving away Sade’s new Soldier of Love CD to three lucky WeParent readers. It’s hard to believe that the last time the group released an album, Lovers Rock, was a decade ago, It’s really hard to believe when you see frontwoman, Sade, who looks untouched by time.

The album hits stores on February 9^th. And, while we’re excited about the entire release, because we care so much about co-parenting and parenting, we can’t wait to check out the track, “Babyfather,” “about how great it is to be a parent, what a great honor and privilege that is, and what a terrible thing that is to waste,” frontwoman Sade Adu recently told PEOPLE. “As long as you feel good about yourself, you can be a good parent, and then it becomes an endless fruitful cycle,” she says. We second that emotion!  We couldn’t get our hands on that one, but check out the video for “Soldier of Love” below:

So, like we said, we’re giving 3 copies of this long-anticipated release away. The deadline for entries is 11:59pm EST on Saturday, February 20th. Winners must have a U.S. address.  We’ll announce winners here and on “Co-Parenting Matters” on Sunday, February 21st.  Here’s how to enter to win one of 3 Soldier of Love CDs:

Mandatory (You have to do this one to qualify for additional chances):

• Leave us a comment saying why you want to win. Include your favorite Sade song, if you have one.

And, here are a few ways to increase your chances. (Be sure to leave a comment here letting us know that you’ve done these.):

• Join our mailing list.
• Become a fan of WeParent on Facebook.
• Follow WeParent on Twitter.
• Become a member of our online community, WeParentConnect.

That’s five chances to win, so don’t miss out! Winners must have a U.S. address.

Mediation 101: An Interview with Gene A. Johnson, Jr., Pt. 2

This is Part 2 of our extensive interview with Gene A. Johnson, Jr., also know as, “The Mediator”, who provided us with a basic lesson about mediation. There was so much goodness in the conversation, that we’ve broken this one into a 4-parter, so be sure to read Part 1, too.  You can also check out our “Mediation 101″ episode of “Co-Parenting Matters” to hear Gene talk more about mediation.

WP: So, I want to clarify a couple of things you talked about.  I thought it was interesting when you said that in some divorce cases, there may be 2 mediators for gender balance.

Gene: As mediators, we pride ourselves on being impartial and neutral, so a well-established and effective mediator would probably tell you that it doesn’t matter what their gender is.  But, that’s a choice and an option the party has.  Going back and comparing this to litigation, you know you can’t pick your judge. In mediation, you can select your mediator.

WP: Can you give us a sense of what percentage of cases actually do get resolved via mediation versus a court order?

Gene:  It really depends on your jurisdiction.  So for example, in California, I believe almost all family cases when you go to court, they don’t even allow you to see a judge before going through some mediation or mediation-like process.

WP: Got it.

Gene: But in other jurisdictions, mediation may not be offered or may be offered as an afterthought.  So it varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.  I can say though that studies have shown that when a case does go to mediation, somewhere along the lines of somewhere between 70-80% of those cases do come to some sort of resolution and agreement.

And, if you reach an agreement in mediation, this is a benefit of mediation, the compliance rate is extremely high.  You’re looking at nearly a 90% compliance rate because this is what parties have agreed to on their own will.  No one has forced this agreement on them, so they are more likely to comply with it.

WP: We talked previously about situations where one party may have an attorney and the other may not.  But what about issues like the financial ability of one parent to sustain a mediation forever versus the other parent.  Are there ways that mediators are trained to insure that the process does come to closure?  And how does a parent who doesn’t have a lot of money to go on and on in this process insure that the power imbalance isn’t impacting or forcing them or putting them under duress to sign an agreement that they really aren’t fully bought into?

Gene: Right.  Power dynamic…this is a huge topic.  Mediators have entire 3-day and 4-day conferences around this subject, because it is very important.  First let me say that it is not a mediator’s job to balance power.  Once a mediator takes on a role of balancing power, he or she is no longer neutral and no longer impartial.  Because now I’m taking sides, and I’m trying to make sure that this person is not getting the short end of the stick or what have you.

That being said, in every relationship and every encounter, there is a power imbalance.  No two people enter into any negotiation on the same footing.  Like you said, one may have more money, one may have more resources, whatever the reason, there is hardly ever equal footing of power.

That’s okay, though. because that’s how we make decisions.  When we make a decision, we base it on that.  We base it on what we have and the dynamics in a relationship, etc.

WP: Right.

Gene: That being said, it is a mediator’s job to make sure that no one is using this process unfairly or not negotiating in good faith…and I put that in quotations.  So if the mediator feels that someone is using this process to get at another person or just to wear the other person down, then the mediator can find him or herself in an ethical situation where they may have to stop the mediation or determine if that the case is not appropriate for mediation, because a party is not negotiating in good faith.

For the most part, this plays out in cases of domestic violence.  In domestic violence, there’s a huge power imbalance and one party is usually coerced either by fear, intimidation or concern about their safety, so they are willing to agree to almost anything.  In those scenarios, that case should be screened out of mediation.

Cases where there is domestic violence in a relationship should not be referred to mediation.  In mediation, we feel as long as a person can freely negotiate without fear of  harm or safety, they are not coerced into anything as well as they are making an informed decision, they have all the information they need, then that case is appropriate for mediation.

WP: Got you.  What other examples of situations are there where mediation may not be a viable solution for parents?

Gene: Mediation may not be a viable solution, once again, if there is a domestic violence situation.  Mediation, obviously, will not be appropriate if one person does not want to go to mediation.  So those two things, other than that, I think mediation can work in almost any other scenario.

Even in scenarios where you may think you’ve decided on all of the parenting arrangements and all of the custody and limitations, everything except for the month of July, because maybe the father wants the child to spend the month of July with him.  You can go to mediation just to resolve that one issue, and all the other issues can be decided in litigation in court.

I think mediation allows that flexibility, so where you may think mediation may not be appropriate for all issues, there may be one or two issues that you can work out in mediation.

WP: So does that mean that for parents who, for example, want to modify orders at some point, years after or months after there’s been a court order, mediation is a potentially good option for addressing that.

Gene: Mediation definitely may be a good option for addressing that sort of thing; although, I don’t want to overstep my boundaries and give mediators more power than they have in terms of overturning a court order or a court decision.  So what I would recommend is that if you go to mediation and you want to amend an agreement, that’s fine, but make sure you go to your lawyer or to court and go through the proper channels of doing so.

In some jurisdictions, it’s okay to come up with mediated agreement then present it to the court and say okay, this is how we want to amend our parenting plan.  You really need to check with your jurisdiction in terms of how that process is done, but I believe that mediation could definitely be an option.

Read Part 1 of this interview

Listen to our discussion with Gene on “Co-Parenting Matters”

Black History Month Giveaway: Family Passes to “Let Your Motto Be Resistance”

Let your motto be resistance!  Resistance!  RESISTANCE!
No oppressed people have ever secured their liberty without resistance.
–Abolitionist Henry Highland Garnet, 1843

Resistance has been a critical theme throughout the history of Black families in this country.  It has taken many forms.  For some, survival by itself was an act of resistance.  For others, it looked like fighting back…or not fighting back.  And, for many, it was the commitment to celebrating our history and culture even when the cost was torture or death.

At WeParent, we believe that building strong, healthy, effective co-parenting relationships is an act of resistance against the forces that pull our children away from us–as much as it is an act of love.  Through our commitment to partnering in parenting, we give our children the foundation they need to stand strong in this world.  And, to us, raising strong, happy, powerful Black children is a revolultionary act all by itself.  So, we’re all about resistance through a co-parenting revolution.

On January 30, 2010, the Atlanta History Center will celebrate the opening of a new exhibition, Let Your Motto Be Resistance:  African-American Portraits which runs through April 25th. Let Your Motto Be Resistance is the first of four exhibitions being present as part of the Center’s Civil War to Civil Rights series.  The exhibit, inspired by the call to action of nineteenth century political activist and Underground Railroad conductor, Henry Highland Garnet, uses portraits of well-known African-Americans from the Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery to trace 150 years of U.S. history.  These powerful images celebrate the diverse ways that African-Americans creatively and courageously redefined the history of this country through struggle, accomodation and resistance.

As part of our celebration of Black History Month, we’re partnering with the Atlanta History Center to give away family passes to Let Your Motto Be Resistance to four lucky WeParent readers.  Passes are good for free admission for 2 adults and up to 4 children (a $74 value.)  We’ll choose a new winner each week during the month of February.  So, if you don’t win this week, your entry is still in the hat for the next one.  Winners will be announced every Sunday during Black History Month and notified via email.  Here’s how to enter:

MANDATORY:

• Leave a comment here either suggesting a way for parents to celebrate Black History Month with their children, telling us how you’re planning to celebrate with yours or just sharing a few words about an historic figure who inspires you.

OPTIONAL:

• Join our mailing list and leave a comment here telling us you did.
• Become a member of our online community, WeParent Connect.
• Become a fan of WeParent on Facebook and leave a comment telling us you did.

That’s 4 chances to win!  Don’t miss this opportunity to share this glimpse into African-American and U.S. history with your family.  We’ll see you there!

Preparing Our Kids to THRIVE in the 21st Century

The world our kids will inherit is far different from the one we were born into.

Back when I was born, most TVs were still in black and white. There was no cable tv, no fax machines, microwave ovens, or personal computers.  People held jobs for years, if not lifetimes. And they often retired with pensions…unless, like my grandmother, they were cheated out of them by being laid off just before they’d reached the 20- or 30-year mark. (But that’s a different story.)

Our kids are being born into a world of rapid change. Product choices, investment options, job descriptions, even “proven facts,” can become obsolete every 6 months.  To prosper in the 21^st century, our children need more than just computer skills. They need to be able to hold their own – emotionally, financially, and socially.  They need to be ready to ride the waves of change. They need an internal GPS and a lighthouse, so they don’t get lost in a storm. And they need an anchor to mark the place they call “home.”

Along with a solid education and good manners, here are a few other tools to properly equip today’s kids for tomorrow’s world:

Skills Every Child Needs to T.H.R.I.V.E. in the 21st Century

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX — Kids these days need to be able to do more than memorize facts.  Thinking critically and creatively will help them rise to every new challenge they’ll face.

Foster kids’ creativity with “What if…” questions – What would you do if you needed to open a can and couldn’t find a can opener? What might happen if you jump off the sofa with that coffee table sitting there?

Above all, don’t punish them when they DO think creatively…and end up doing something you don’t like. Like, let’s say, tie-dying the cat so it doesn’t camouflage with the living room carpet. Instead, recognize their creativity, but guide them toward a more useful application.

HEAL – The world can be a sick place – physically and emotionally. We can’t control the world, but we can control ourselves.

Teach kids how to keep themselves healthy and strong – in spite of what happens in the world around them – by building up their immune systems. (Again, physically, and emotionally.)

Physically: Who knows if there will be any affordable health care when our kids are grown? The best guarantee of good health is eating real food – especially fruits and veggies – cooked at home with real ingredients – not chemicals, colors, and preservatives. Healthy food creates a healthy immune system – helping your body heal and fight disease from the inside out.

Emotionally: Encourage kids to name their feelings. Ask them often, “How did you feel when that happened?” Their honest emotions can be an internal GPS, guiding them to stay away from danger, or to speak up when they don’t like something. Respect their right to have feelings different from yours. Don’t shut them down. The more kids know themselves, and the more they learn to express feelings their feelings verbally, the more self-disciplined they can be.

RESOLVE CONFLICTS – In friendships, at school, in job situations…knowing how to resolve conflicts productively is an invaluable social skill.

Teach kids to listen to another’s point of view as well as calmly express their own. Ask, “How could this be handled in a way that respects everybody?”

DON’T HIT. Hitting kids teaches them that physical violence is ok to use when you’re upset. It also fosters anger, resentment, and low self-esteem – none of which promotes healthy conflict management.

After a conflict, ask, “How’d you feel about the way things went? What might you do differently next time?”

INITIATE – The days of being an “employee” are over.

Even if you’re employed by someone, you’ve gotta think like an entrepreneur to make yourself indispensable. Rather than passively waiting for an employer to tell you what to do, you’ve got to have initiative – think independently, come up with new ideas.

Help kids build their “initiative muscles” by letting them make some decisions for the family: Put them in charge of Saturday night’s menu; let them come up with a way to fix the wobbly kitchen chair.

When they complain about something, ask them what they would do to make it better. Then let them implement their ideas.

VERIFY ALL CLAIMS – Don’t let kids fall into the trap of believing every so-called “authority.” They will be marketed to, relentlessly, by politicians and advertisers – many of whom will not share the whole truth.

Teach kids to use the internet and other resources to find facts and opinions that contradict what they hear. Encourage them to look within themselves and decide whom to believe.

EMPATHIZE WITH OTHERS – Not being able to accept another’s perspective is the primary cause of war – both globally and domestically.

Teach your kid to BE PEACE by learning to respect other people’s opinions, feelings, and desires.

Help them learn to hold two opposing perspectives – their own, and another person’s – and to treat others not as they would like to be treated, but as the other would like to be treated.

* * *

Kids who learn to Think, Heal, Resolve, Initiate, Verify, and Empathize, stay in-tuned with themselves and others.

They are anchored by close relationships over time, even as they re-invent themselves and relocate every few years.

They are guided by strong values that always lead them on the right course.

And they know how to change direction to navigate the winds of change.

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