Please join WeParent and the Raising Him Alone Campaign for a f*r*e*e tele-conference call on Wednesday, April 13 at 8:30pm ET.  We’ll be discussing the benefits of co-parenting to raise healthy & productive boys.  Our own Talibah Mbonisi will be leading the call and sharing the WeParent mission to support parents in working out their differences so they can raise healthy boys who will become men.

Often the issues between parents prevent boys from growing up in an optimal home environment. Whether it’s decisions about religion, extra-curricular activities, punishment & discipline parents who are on the “same page” increase the success of their sons.

WeParent is one of the Raising Him Alone southern based strategic partners.

Be sure to RSVP here.

605.475.4000 (8:30 p.m. EST)
Participant pin 324970#

Please submit questions for the call via email at info@raisinghimalone.com.

Related posts:

1. Co-Parenting Matters This Week: Parental Alienation–A Family’s Heartbreak
2. Tonight on Co-Parenting Matters: Raising Him Alone…Single Mothers Raising Sons
3. MamaSpeak: Is Co-Parenting Really Worth All the Effort?

This week on Co-Parenting Matters we’re talking heavy stuff…making sure your children are protected in the case that the unthinkable should happen to you.  We don’t like to think about the possibility of our not being here for our kids, but our guest, Steve Worrall, a lawyer, dad and founder of the blog, Georgia Family Law, is going to tell us why we have to.  And, he’ll guide us through the considerations we need to make and the steps we need to take to create the peace of mind that our children and families will be taken care of whether we’re here to do it or not.

And, to get two of you started on the path to peace of mind, Steve is generously giving away a Georgia Family Treasures Planning Session ($750 value) and a free guardianship nomination or other discount off of planning  ($250 value) (Georgia residents only).  And, he’s sharing a copy of Wear Clean Underwear:  A Fast, Fun, Friendly—And Essential–Guide to Legal Planning for Busy Parents.  As usual, winners will be announced during the show.

There are a few ways to enter to win:

1. Tweet about this show. Make sure to @coparentingshow, @coparenting101, or @weparent.

2. Like Us on Facebook and post about the show. Be sure to tag WeParent or CoParenting101 (to tag us on a post, type @WeParent, e.g..  If you are our Friend on FB, we’ll appear in a drop-down list that will be auto-generated when you begin typing).  This will notify us of your posting, and we’ll enter you in the drawing.

3.  Join our mailing list.  Leave a comment here letting us know that you’ve done it.

And, of course, be sure to listen to the show, this Sunday, March 20^th at 9:30pm ET.  You can listen via phone at (646)378-0580 or catch the live stream at www.blogtalkradio.com/CoParentingMatters.

Related posts:

1. Co-Parenting After Coming Out…This Week on Co-Parenting Matters
2. “Co-Parenting Teens” on the Next “Co-Parenting Matters” Show
3. Co-Parenting Myths & Misconceptions

This Sunday on Co-Parenting Matters we’ll talk about the challenges of father absence and father re-involvement with the children from whom they have been estranged. Our guests are, Tonia Grady, whose GradyGirl productions created the documentary short film, Man Up, a documentary short film exploring many of the facets of father absence in an intense effort to show the magnitude of this social epidemic, and David Miller, co-founder of the Raising Him Alone campaign and ChangingFatherhood.com. We’ll discuss the impact of father absenteeism on children, families and communities, and explore strategies for addressing this issue at the community level and one family at a time.

Join in the discussion this Sunday, March 6, at 9:30pm by calling into (646)378-0580 or following the live stream and chat room conversation on BlogTalkRadio.

Related posts:

1. Co-Parenting Matters This Week: Back-to-School Co-Parenting Tips
2. This Week on Co-Parenting Matters: From Ex to Next…Dating after Break-up or Divorce
3. Co-Parenting Matters This Week: Parental Alienation–A Family’s Heartbreak

We’ll be joined by Annie Fox, an educator, award-winning author, and online adviser to teens and their parents. Annie helps teens get what they need for healthy social/emotional development.

We’ll also be joined by Samantha Gregory, mom of a 14-year-old daughter (and younger son), who foundedRichSingleMomma.com to empower her fellow single mommas to overcome personal obstacles and to become joyful and prosperous.

We hope you’ll join the conversation as well!  That’s Sunday night, 9/12 at 9:30 PM ET/6:30 PM PT on BlogTalkRadio (call in 646.378.0580, chat, or tweet with us @coparentingshow!)

Courtesy of Annie Fox, we are giving away a copy of Book 1 in her Middle School Confidential Series, “Be Confident in Who You Are!” There are 2 ways to enter the giveaway:

1) Leave a comment below sharing one of your middle school memories…happy or horrific.

or…

2) Answer this trivia question: Name one of  Annie Fox’s tips for teaching your daughter relationship smarts.Visit anniefox.com to find out.  Those posting correct answers  in the comments section below will be entered into the drawing.

You can enter right up to Sunday night’s show.  We’ll announce the winner on air and in Twitter.  Enter as often as you’d like!

Related posts:

1. Co-Parenting Matters This Week: Financial Tips for Single Parents
2. Co-Parenting Matters This Week: Back-to-School Co-Parenting Tips
3. Help!–The Trouble with Teens

All over the country, fathers, grandfathers, big brothers and other men who care are descending upon America’s schools with their children on the first day of school.  The Million Father March has become a powerful day on which fathers demonstrate their commitment to their children, their families, and their communities through their massive presence at school.

The Black Star Project, in partnership with local community organizations, sponsors the Million Father March on the first-day-of-school in hundreds of cities across the United States and internationally. An estimated 600,000 men in 475 cities participated last year and the number is expected to grow this year.

Research shows that children whose fathers take an active role in their educational lives earn better grades, score higher on tests, enjoy school more and are more likely to graduate from high school and attend college. Additionally, children have fewer behavior problems when fathers listen to and talk with them regularly and are active in their lives. A good father is part of a good parenting team and is critical to creating a strong family structure. Strong family structures produce children who are more academically proficient, socially developed and self-assured. Such children become adults who are valuable assets to their communities.

Participants in the event include fathers, grandfathers, foster fathers, stepfathers, uncles, cousins, big brothers, significant male caregivers and friends of the family. Although this event was created by African-American fathers, women and men of all ethnicities are invited to march their children to school on their first day and to continue to be engaged powerful forces in the academic success of our children.

Contact the Black Star Project at (773)285-9600 or blackstar1000 AT ameritech DOT net for more information on the Million Father March and to find out how you can participate or organize an event in your area.

The Million Father March Pledge for Fathers and Men

I will take my children or a child to school and I will be at a school on the first day to encourage all children to do their best every day at school.

I am responsible for the education of my child.

I will volunteer at my child’s school three times this school year.

I will pick up my child’s progress report or grade report when required.

I will meet with my child’s teachers at least two times this year and support them in educating my child.

I will teach my child the value of family as well as the value of education.

I will mentor my child or a child and I will teach children the values of education and family as well as the value of life.

I will work with my child’s mother or guardian to achieve the best academic and social outcomes for my child even if I do not live with my child.

Related posts:

1. Fatherhood Freestyle: Sober, Responsible Men and Fathers Please Apply
2. Fatherhood Freestyle: Fathers, Be Good to Your Daughters
3. Co-Parenting Messages in the Music: Saigon’s Fatherhood

WP: Tell us a little bit about what you do and how you got involved in working in this area around kids.

Kara: I started dating a man who was divorced.  He had young children.  When the kids got a little older and were able to understand things, the ex-wife started letting information slip about how the marriage ended, why the marriage ended, adult information that these little kids really didn’t need to know about.

The 2 older children actually pulled away from the father, the younger one still needed the father’s affection; he was 10 at the time.  After he visited, he would go home and they would call him a traitor and try to convince him to not go anymore.  This this poor kid was just torn in half literally. He couldn’t stop loving his dad.  It just wasn’t possible.  But he didn’t want to betray his mom and the other members of his family.

The child and I were close, and we worked on a little book of promises for parents to make.  It got me really interested in what was going on.

I took the book to Dr. Frank Williams who runs a program here in Tucson called Children of Divorce.  It’s this fantastic 8-week program that kids and parents go through to help them cope.  I got involved with that, and I started working with the 10-12 year olds and was able to create some of the exercises for the class.

And…I’m a huge fan of postsecret.com.  Have you ever heard of that?

WP: I have, yes.

Kara: It’s just a site, very similar to mine, except it’s secrets that adults send in.  I thought we should do something like this for the kids, because one of the exercises we do is, if we can’t cope with something, we either let it go or write it on a piece of paper and burn it or something like that.

So, I thought let’s try this postcard thing, and the kids loved it.  The first couple of times that I did it, I was just shocked at how amazingly in touch with themselves these 10-12 year olds were as far as expressing themselves about how upset they were.

Oh, and I actually met Frank Warren [founder of postsecret.com] and got his blessing.

WP: That was very respectful of you to do that.

Kara: I tell people this is a site for kids to vent their feelings and then come and see that other kids have the same issues.  But really, I think at this point that it’s more for adults, so they can see the pain that their kids go through.

WP: It was really eye opening and impactful as an adult to see the creative expression of what they are feeling, so I can see how this becomes a site for adults.  I can definitely see that.

Kara: The letters that I get aren’t from kids.  They are from adults saying, “Oh, my God, I’ve actually heard these words from my kids and I never really understood.”  For example I get a lot of comments from parents about having said they wish they’d never met their ex, in front of their kids.  They say, “I’ve said that and now I just feel horrible.”

WP: I guess that the translation for a kid is, “You wish I didn’t exist.”

Kara: Right, and they don’t get that, yes, you don’t mean it, but that’s what the kid hears.

WP: When we are careless in how we communicate about the experience of a relationship ending and about the other parent, kids are going to fill in the gaps.  They are going to translate it.  They are going to make it meaningful in a way that they understand.  And in their world, a lot of times that’s scary.

Kara: Or the other effect that I’ve seen, too, is kids that are scared to death of being fired from their family because they have seen another parent fired.

You think the kids don’t know…and they probably don’t understand a lot.  But they try to understand in their own way, and they end up making up something that’s just so much more horrible than the truth.

WP: Let’s talk a little bit about the impact of divorce on children particularly when parents aren’t really handling the conflict well.  What have you seen in the work that you’ve been doing with children of divorce and through Postcards from Splitsville?

Kara: Well, the kids that I work with come to us within months of the divorce.  The impact, wow, it’s almost always devastating.

What I see that makes me upset the most is that a lot of the kids feel there is one person to blame for the divorce.  I think they do that, because somebody has to be the blame…and thank God it’s not them.  Very few of our kids these days think it’s their fault any more.  That used to be a huge issue when we first started, but now it’s not.

And, the whole needing to figure out why this is happening and then placing the blame on someone, I think is really hard on them; because it interferes with the relationship that they had prior to the divorce with one of the parents or both sometimes.

It just rocks their world.  These kids need a sense of stability, and all of a sudden, the most stable thing in their family, whether there was a lot of fighting or not, is caput. It’s broken.  And, it often involves the disappearance of one parent, and mostly it’s the father.

WP: Right.

Kara: And that changes a little here and there, because more fathers have custody of their kids now.  But mostly it’s still the mother.

I’ve seen how these fathers are just set aside, not every single one, of course, right, but it’s almost as if that was an extra piece in our life that we really didn’t need, like that third car or something.

WP: Like an extra appendage?  I wonder if sometimes fathers don’t see themselves that way, too.

Kara: I think they do.  For example, if the marriage ended because of an infidelity on his part,  the guilt there can be immense, and he might feel he doesn’t deserve the children because of what he did.  But, that’s where I would say, okay, but the kid still needs you.

Whatever you did wrong, you can still give love and support, and your child needs that to grow, needs that second set of love, the second opinion, the whole second part.

I think there needs to be a more intense education on how to raise your kids in this unique situation that people just wing.  They wing it, and they don’t understand how devastating almost every word can be.  These kids latch onto one sentence, and that’s the sentence that defines everything for them.

WP: How can an outlet like Postcards from Splitsville help?

Kara: Well again, I created it as a vent for the kids.  But the benefit is really for parents…just to make them stop and think and maybe put that anger in check, because your kids is listening and affected by it.

WP: Thank you for the work you’re doing and for sharing it with our WeParent family.

To learn more, browse postcards or download a postcard for a child to submit, visit www.postcardsfromsplitsville.com.

Related posts:

1. The Golden Rule of Co-Parenting: Keep Kids Out of the Middle
2. 10 Things To Say To Your Children During Your Divorce
3. 10 Things NOT to Say to Your Children During a Divorce

Thirty-five percent of African-American children live in poverty.  This means that more than 1 out of every 3 African-American children live with what research has confirmed is the single greatest threat to their well-being. Poverty can impede children’s ability to learn and contribute to social, emotional, and behavioral problems. Poverty can also contribute to poor health and mental health.

The statistics paint a grim picture of the havoc poverty is wreaking on the youth in our community:  approximately 50 percent of African-American children drop out of school; African-American females account for approximately 70 percent of all teenage pregnancies; between 2002 and 2007, the number of homicides involving black male juveniles as victims grew by 31 percent and as perpetrators by 43 percent.  Clearly, our children are suffering and desperately need our HELP!

We’re a community in crisis. If we’re to reverse these frightening trends, African-American adults must step up our game and come together to rally around our youth. We must be honest about the truth behind the quantitative data: too many broken families; an alarming number of absent fathers; far too many uneducated, low-wage earning single-mothers trying to lead families with limited financial, emotional, and social resources. Simply put, the story behind the numbers is that too many of our children are failing at life because of poor leadership in their lives and homes. Our children are failing because far too often they live in families that are barely surviving, let alone thriving.

As dire as the situation appears, all is not lost. There is plenty that we can all do, individually and collectively, to turn things around for our youth and our community as a whole. While there are a lot of intellectuals and social scientists sitting in think tanks pondering this issue, there are sages who’ve come before and shared their wisdom as guidance on what we can do:

“Be the change you want to see in the world” -Ghandi

Start with ourselves. Set high standards and expectations of our own efforts and ability. Accept no less from ourselves than we’d like to see from others: value education, hard work and strong families. Hold our own children to high standards of academic and behavioral performance. Work at being healthy, loving and committed romantic and life partners and hold our partners to the same standards. A rising tide lifts all  boats; allow ourselves and our families to be part of a rising tide.

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

In addition to focusing on lifting ourselves and families, consider what we can do to directly impact the lives of others. Our communities are full of nonprofit and community-based organizations that always need help building and strengthening their operational and fiscal infrastructure and serving their clients. Call a few who serve causes you care about and offer your time, talent and treasure. You would be surprised at the huge impact it would make on both you and the organization.

“Now is the accepted time, not tomorrow, not some more convenient season. It is today that our best work can be done and not some future day or future year…” – W.E.B. DuBois

Act now! Decide today to make a slightly bigger difference in the lives of those you love and your community than you did yesterday. Add an extra hug or “I love you” when interacting with loved ones; add a “hello” to the casual smile you offer the stranger you pass on the street; offer to volunteer 2 hours of your time to a small nonprofit or tutoring or mentoring program; donate a small amount of money to help improve the fiscal health of a community based organization serving the less fortunate. There are many, many things that we all can do NOW, TODAY, that cost us very little but mean so much.

Each of us must look around and take note of how much our youth need us; and then decide what small thing we will do today to make a difference.  Our children are screaming for HELP! Do we hear them?

Related posts:

1. MamaSpeak: Setting Single Moms Up for Success
2. One Million Fathers March their Kids to School
3. Black History Month Giveaway: Family Passes to “Let Your Motto Be Resistance”

I love women. I can find something attractive on almost anyone of them. It could be their eyes, their smile or the way they carry themselves with confidence. I don’t have a particular type or shape or color preference. Long hair doesn’t turn me on more than short, curvy bodies more than straight, tall over short. Intelligence and a sense of humor goes a long way though..

I was raised by women, have raised women and some of my closest friends are women. I’ve worked as the only male in treatment center for females and survived and thrived. Women have shaped my life, contributed to the man I’ve become and the values I have.

Whenever I would envision the way I would begin the story of my life it always began this way, with most of these words. For one thing, the words are true; women have played a huge role in my life. And I am clear that another reason why is my father.

My father and I have never lived in the same house, have never played catch, shared a joke or a laugh. We have never watched a sporting event, taken a walk or watched a cartoon together. And while many adults could make the same claims for many reasons: “my father died when I was 2” or “he ran away when I was born” or “my mama wasn’t sure who my daddy was”.. I do know who he is. I know his name and occupation and where he lives. His physical absence from my life played as big a role in my shaping as the women who were present. And notice I said his physical absence; emotionally he has been and remains one of my major influences.

As the women in my childhood taught me and scolded me and fed me, my father’s effect was subtle, almost unnoticeable until my teenage years. This increased as I grew into manhood, became a tidal wave as I became a parent to my daughter, and exploded in a crescendo as I became a father to a son. I can remember the joy and wonder I felt as I looked into my daughter’s eyes for the first time, the pride and relief of knowing she was safe, healthy and whole. The comfort I felt in feeding her, changing her and making her laugh. To this day she still takes my heart to the top of the clouds just to be in her presence. The birth of my son added a new wrinkle and sense of wonder; while my daughter was clearly related to me, my blood, my offspring- my son was a mini version of me. We shared more than similar physical features, he wanted to play sports, to wrestle, to fight, to play catch. We used our fingers to hold objects in the same way, crossed our legs and hummed while eating something special. And as I became more aware of these similarities and shared traits, that’s when my father’s presence or lack of had its biggest impact; I couldn’t understand. I couldn’t understand how he could leave, how could he know I existed and not been in my life. How could he not play catch, take a walk or share advice with me? Whereas not having my father in my life growing up was accepted as a fact by me, an unalterable truth, becoming a parent and seeing my son and knowing how I felt about both my children, that fact became absurd, insane, truly, beyond any words I can use.

And I have tried desperately to understand. I have thought and thunk, asked friends and strangers, spoken to clients and read books. I even went to my father and asked him directly. “Well, your mother didn’t want me around” was the first deflection, followed by “and to be honest with you, I’m not even sure if I am your father”. And that was the beginning of my enlightenment and release. At that moment, the utterance of that blatant and obvious lie, I realized that whatever I was looking for, I would not find it in him. There would be no guidance, no embrace, no shared experiences; as alike as we were in appearance, our build, our hands and that slightly up tilted Bob Hope nose, we were completely different in our hearts, our view of ourselves. Whatever motivated him to speak those words, fear, guilt, shame or ignorance, I’ll never truly know (and I can only wonder if he knows). As the father to my kids some of my biggest fears have been ‘Will I be good enough? Can I give them a different life from the one I had?’ Only time and their testament will declare the truth of that. But I know that my children and I share things he and I will never have. The memories of stitches and casts, cakes and wrapping paper and the swell of pride as they walked across various stages marking the advance of their own lives and accomplishments. When I look at them I feel a peace in knowing these are my children, and I am their father.

Related posts:

1. Fatherhood Freestyle: Are You My Daddy?
2. Fatherhood Freestyle: Mamas, Are You Getting in the Way?
3. Fatherhood Freestyle: Fathers, Be Good to Your Daughters

Let your motto be resistance!  Resistance!  RESISTANCE!
No oppressed people have ever secured their liberty without resistance.
–Abolitionist Henry Highland Garnet, 1843

Resistance has been a critical theme throughout the history of Black families in this country.  It has taken many forms.  For some, survival by itself was an act of resistance.  For others, it looked like fighting back…or not fighting back.  And, for many, it was the commitment to celebrating our history and culture even when the cost was torture or death.

At WeParent, we believe that building strong, healthy, effective co-parenting relationships is an act of resistance against the forces that pull our children away from us–as much as it is an act of love.  Through our commitment to partnering in parenting, we give our children the foundation they need to stand strong in this world.  And, to us, raising strong, happy, powerful Black children is a revolultionary act all by itself.  So, we’re all about resistance through a co-parenting revolution.

On January 30, 2010, the Atlanta History Center will celebrate the opening of a new exhibition, Let Your Motto Be Resistance:  African-American Portraits which runs through April 25th. Let Your Motto Be Resistance is the first of four exhibitions being present as part of the Center’s Civil War to Civil Rights series.  The exhibit, inspired by the call to action of nineteenth century political activist and Underground Railroad conductor, Henry Highland Garnet, uses portraits of well-known African-Americans from the Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery to trace 150 years of U.S. history.  These powerful images celebrate the diverse ways that African-Americans creatively and courageously redefined the history of this country through struggle, accomodation and resistance.

As part of our celebration of Black History Month, we’re partnering with the Atlanta History Center to give away family passes to Let Your Motto Be Resistance to four lucky WeParent readers.  Passes are good for free admission for 2 adults and up to 4 children (a $74 value.)  We’ll choose a new winner each week during the month of February.  So, if you don’t win this week, your entry is still in the hat for the next one.  Winners will be announced every Sunday during Black History Month and notified via email.  Here’s how to enter:

MANDATORY:

• Leave a comment here either suggesting a way for parents to celebrate Black History Month with their children, telling us how you’re planning to celebrate with yours or just sharing a few words about an historic figure who inspires you.

OPTIONAL:

• Join our mailing list and leave a comment here telling us you did.
• Become a member of our online community, WeParent Connect.
• Become a fan of WeParent on Facebook and leave a comment telling us you did.

That’s 4 chances to win!  Don’t miss this opportunity to share this glimpse into African-American and U.S. history with your family.  We’ll see you there!

Related posts:

1. MamaSpeak: Co-Parenting is the New Black History Celebration
2. “Co-Parenting Matters” Anniversary Giveaway: Step-Dating & Blended Family Package!
3. Book Giveaway: Lifelines-The Black Book of Proverbs

The world our kids will inherit is far different from the one we were born into.

Back when I was born, most TVs were still in black and white. There was no cable tv, no fax machines, microwave ovens, or personal computers.  People held jobs for years, if not lifetimes. And they often retired with pensions…unless, like my grandmother, they were cheated out of them by being laid off just before they’d reached the 20- or 30-year mark. (But that’s a different story.)

Our kids are being born into a world of rapid change. Product choices, investment options, job descriptions, even “proven facts,” can become obsolete every 6 months.  To prosper in the 21^st century, our children need more than just computer skills. They need to be able to hold their own – emotionally, financially, and socially.  They need to be ready to ride the waves of change. They need an internal GPS and a lighthouse, so they don’t get lost in a storm. And they need an anchor to mark the place they call “home.”

Along with a solid education and good manners, here are a few other tools to properly equip today’s kids for tomorrow’s world:

Skills Every Child Needs to T.H.R.I.V.E. in the 21st Century

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX — Kids these days need to be able to do more than memorize facts.  Thinking critically and creatively will help them rise to every new challenge they’ll face.

Foster kids’ creativity with “What if…” questions – What would you do if you needed to open a can and couldn’t find a can opener? What might happen if you jump off the sofa with that coffee table sitting there?

Above all, don’t punish them when they DO think creatively…and end up doing something you don’t like. Like, let’s say, tie-dying the cat so it doesn’t camouflage with the living room carpet. Instead, recognize their creativity, but guide them toward a more useful application.

HEAL – The world can be a sick place – physically and emotionally. We can’t control the world, but we can control ourselves.

Teach kids how to keep themselves healthy and strong – in spite of what happens in the world around them – by building up their immune systems. (Again, physically, and emotionally.)

Physically: Who knows if there will be any affordable health care when our kids are grown? The best guarantee of good health is eating real food – especially fruits and veggies – cooked at home with real ingredients – not chemicals, colors, and preservatives. Healthy food creates a healthy immune system – helping your body heal and fight disease from the inside out.

Emotionally: Encourage kids to name their feelings. Ask them often, “How did you feel when that happened?” Their honest emotions can be an internal GPS, guiding them to stay away from danger, or to speak up when they don’t like something. Respect their right to have feelings different from yours. Don’t shut them down. The more kids know themselves, and the more they learn to express feelings their feelings verbally, the more self-disciplined they can be.

RESOLVE CONFLICTS – In friendships, at school, in job situations…knowing how to resolve conflicts productively is an invaluable social skill.

Teach kids to listen to another’s point of view as well as calmly express their own. Ask, “How could this be handled in a way that respects everybody?”

DON’T HIT. Hitting kids teaches them that physical violence is ok to use when you’re upset. It also fosters anger, resentment, and low self-esteem – none of which promotes healthy conflict management.

After a conflict, ask, “How’d you feel about the way things went? What might you do differently next time?”

INITIATE – The days of being an “employee” are over.

Even if you’re employed by someone, you’ve gotta think like an entrepreneur to make yourself indispensable. Rather than passively waiting for an employer to tell you what to do, you’ve got to have initiative – think independently, come up with new ideas.

Help kids build their “initiative muscles” by letting them make some decisions for the family: Put them in charge of Saturday night’s menu; let them come up with a way to fix the wobbly kitchen chair.

When they complain about something, ask them what they would do to make it better. Then let them implement their ideas.

VERIFY ALL CLAIMS – Don’t let kids fall into the trap of believing every so-called “authority.” They will be marketed to, relentlessly, by politicians and advertisers – many of whom will not share the whole truth.

Teach kids to use the internet and other resources to find facts and opinions that contradict what they hear. Encourage them to look within themselves and decide whom to believe.

EMPATHIZE WITH OTHERS – Not being able to accept another’s perspective is the primary cause of war – both globally and domestically.

Teach your kid to BE PEACE by learning to respect other people’s opinions, feelings, and desires.

Help them learn to hold two opposing perspectives – their own, and another person’s – and to treat others not as they would like to be treated, but as the other would like to be treated.

* * *

Kids who learn to Think, Heal, Resolve, Initiate, Verify, and Empathize, stay in-tuned with themselves and others.

They are anchored by close relationships over time, even as they re-invent themselves and relocate every few years.

They are guided by strong values that always lead them on the right course.

And they know how to change direction to navigate the winds of change.

Related posts:

1. The Golden Rule of Co-Parenting: Keep Kids Out of the Middle
2. Co-Parenting Conflict from the Mouth of Babes:
   Interview with Kara Bishop of Postcards from Splitsville
3. 10 Things NOT to Say to Your Children During a Divorce